Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? Idnt also think the said mother would marry someone who wouldnt make her happy. . I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. Made a mistake without any intention to make it surely will freak someone out. And both of you surely need to stay in touch. know it's right to give her the fact straight but she is just a really nice person, and I feel really **** you know! ( though I dont see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. We are deciding if we should divorce now or later when she is bigger. Please I need your help because I might be pushed to get married when am not prepared. Recently I found out I am pregnant. We've been together 9. the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. 8 Tough Truths to Consider When Your Partner Doesn't Want Kids - HuffPost I've made my OWN money since I was 15 years old and before I quit my job to MOVE Paid for all my own stuff and bills WITHOUT his help. MzGee Ditches 3Music TV To Take Over Nana Ama McBrowns Show At UTV. There are reasons on why you should never date a pothead. This is nuts. Even though you never had the intention to have a serious relationship with your current partner, you still need to discuss the problem with him. I try to act normal as Bella and I sit here talking, even though I'm feeling abnormally attracted to her even . Keep reading for our tips and advice, and then give Pregnancy & Fatherhood Solutions a call today at (915) 249-1344 or visit us online to . the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. Know his concern about the current situation and discuss. What issues have you two had? It is helped by a rush of love when the baby arrives, but that doesn't have to be present to create a positive, warm, loving connection which is what love is." For me, even weeks later, those warm . I completely respect her decision on this. Same boat. I don't know if your feelings of disconnection will pass but I sure hope they do. Get Your Sex Life Back After Baby - WebMD Otherwise, you will lose the child and her altogether. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. They were always fighting. SAY IT AGAIN! A lot of women are alone while pregnant or with young children and they have a life they can be proud of. I know she doesn't want to be with me and I stop loving her and I don't want to be with her anymore. bumboclaath mi nuh hv any advice fi u.battybwoy! Life is beautiful but you don't have a clue Sun and ocean blue Their magnificence, it don't make sense to you Black beauty, oh oh oh Black beauty, oh oh oh I paint the house black My wedding dress black leather too You have no room for light Love is lost on you I keep my lips red To seem like cherries in the spring Darling, you can't let everything Rightfully so! I have many regrets from the past and can't bear to add another one to the long list. Obviously she is going to get custody if we split up. Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. @Teejay,hahahahaha, that cracked me up, but coming back to the issue, what da hell???? You need to be upfront and honest nothing is worse than being lied to when feelings are involved. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. there will be hatred, resentment, and misery. Amazed how women can be on these forums. seriously.. i find it hard to understand SOME MEN. I love my daughter and i care about my wife but there is no love on my end. You do make a lot of sense and i guess this is the only way forward. Do i tell my boyfriend i slept with someone else during short break up? We are two total opposite people. I don't have any memories of them not fighting. You will love that baby no matter what when it gets here! Having a baby with someone you don't love - What to Expect 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. Most were married to . 15) His biological clock is ticking. THE CHILD UNSTABLE, EVEN MORE **** UP. He nearly killed you. He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. Also, you must then decide if you want to be in the child's life, how you will coordinate co-parenting a kid when you're not in a relationship, etc. Send all yourrelationship&Loveproblems/issues to me for help via [emailprotected]. Lana Del Rey - Black Beauty Lyrics | AZLyrics.com He's not in love so he's selfish??? If I do something to hurt their father then im hurting my children because they love him. OK LETS TRY TO LOOK AT WHAT IS: IS ANYONE THINKING ABOUT THIS FROM THE CHILD PERSPECTIVE? It's his car, it's not petty if he keeps it. I too got burned with the kid trap. You don't want support, you just want to hear he is a bad guy and you are a victim. Aside from personal decision to have an unwanted relationship and questioning such question of having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it, we will need to be responsible. A year has passed, we have a beautiful little girl that I love with all my heart, but our marriage life is a disaster. It may be tolerable now, but it sounds like you are unhappy. Also my ex is unlikely to have children which in her case actually doesn't matter to me. I am planning to sit tight for now and make sure i am there for her and the child when it comes along. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. AS to your ex, is she still into you, or is it one-sided? I was done. I got pregnant in September of 2011. For many, it was an easy decision that often came down to a gut feeling and the common refrain that. What are the reasons for not wanting to be with her? THE TRUTH IS THAT NO MATTER LOVE CANNOT BE FORCED. Long story short my ex dumped me. You've been clear with him from the start. May you both be happy and healthy. I was not in love with the guy I got pregnant by. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. One slight problem I don't love her! They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. 1.) You should have your own baby feelings figured out. Good luck to you. Whether the mistake were made with or without your intention, it still your mistake anyway. Sorry to say this, but your gf cannot be trusted. Aim to have a better and best partner that you can have. She was expressing her feelings and thoughts about feeling like she won't love her child which she should probably talk to her doctor or a therapist about since I'm pretty sure there is a form of depression you can have before having the child but can't think of the name of it off the top of my head. I am at a loss as to what I must do. My daughter was born healthy, but of course small. We won't agree with you, if we think you are not right, sorry, girl! Ex My moving on process. My girlfriend admitted to me that she cheated. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). Maybe he doesn't like being used. Saturday 4 Mar 2023 10:00 am. After I really got to know him without drinking and partying, I found out I didn't like his personality. My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. He started cheating and I would cry myself to sleep. Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means. SHE DESERVES A SAYING IN THIS! Yes, you can still be happy in a relationship without being married. On the contrary, women have been forced to marry men they didn't love for centuries. I'm in love with a married man And his wife is pregnant. We work hard to share our most timely and active conversations with you. What can I do please? Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. Long Story Short, I Don't Love My Pregnant Girlfriend. I Was I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. But I don't feel the need to hold that up as a shield (though every time I see a movie where the childless woman is the villain I understand why my fellow non-parents doth protest too much . Can't and haven't said a word to anyone about how i feel. Welcome! SCENARION 4: HAVE AN OBORTION. Couples do stay together when they are not in love, just for the sake of stability for the child. Also, don't give her a dime of your money towards the baby until you find out if it's yours. That's a bummer sadly, the pill can and often does fail, even if its taken 100% properly and on time (and it usually isn't), so you have to be REALLY careful with someone you dont want to reproduce with, as many men have found before you. Being in a loveless relationship is not a good example for the LO you already have and the one on the way. As for my girlfriend, I love this person and i will do my best to make it work out. We found out. To begin, the average cost of vaginal delivery in the US, with health insurance, is $4,300. we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. Single mums by choice; meet the women who decided to have - Stylist Call your old boss, call family and friends, research aid and stop telling yourself you're stuck. You are right it is not fair to her. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. It's stressful I have strong feelings for him and he says he does to but it's not just are little fantasy anymore things got so rushed and our maturity levels are so different. "Once you cross that line, look for life to get easier in every way. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. Does it feels good to fake your feelings? No need to waste time your life and time on him. Add to Collection. MUST READ: Is Christmas Bibilical Or Paganism? Though it didn't work out, I never regretted it. There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. In some cases it works, but for many it doesn't. You may want to consider marriage counseling talk to your pastor, priest whatever. Forgotting that there's gonna be 3 children in his life forever? Take public transportation until you can get your own car and focus on your baby. I do love her a lot as a person but i am not in love with her. JP friend, thanks for taking the time to read my post and offer your advise. Chandra is a mom of three boys (8, 4, and 3) and the founder of Oh Lovely Day, a lifestyle blog with a honest look at motherhood.She is trying to create more of an open dialogue with a no . U r runnin away from marriage cos u didn love her b4 ?? Features: Kris Fluffy named herself aptly - "fluffy" because she says she doesn't shave a single hair on her body. I really don't want to mess this child's life up. Hey I know exactly how you feel. The longer you stay with him the more he's going to think you do have feelings for him and it will only hurt him more in the end. Okay so long story very short my ex gi Long story short, My current girlfriend keeps in contact wit Long story short. Take this advice as if your life depends on it. I would rather someone abort a child they don't want than to have the child and it end up neglected and in the system as it got older. General Baby Shower Wishes And Congratulations. So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. And beware if your list of reasons is merely a hollow echo of your partner's. 3. Long story short: we've togheter Long distance girlfriend pregnant and is thinking about breaking up. Tist: Everyone is happier. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. I've been in one relationship like it and told myself I wouldn't be in one again. Immerse yourself in nature. Many things will change during the whole 9 months of pregnancy. And I still do. Be responsible of your act and decision on something. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. I know daddies who didn't feel a connection to their babies until they held them for the first time and like someone else said, maybe that'll be the case for you. I know life would be so much easier if we were together, but I don't know if it's worth it. You had the intention to be with someone for fun without taking the consequences seriously. Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. After a while it was better but even now when we get into arguments he's so controlling and condescending it just makes me like him less and less. If You Don't Want a Baby, Just Don't Have Sex? | Libby Anne My girlfriend and I just broke up and she's 3 months pregnant. If you don't want a baby, then you won't be having one. My boyfriend cheated on me with his baby mama and now she is pregnant but I still love him HELP!! Sadly having a baby can create a rift between parents. 'Why I never want babies' - BBC News Your bodies will fit together perfectly. My partner works alot which I think is the cause of us not having any connection? Things You'll Wish You'd Known Before Having A Baby - TheList.com 10 Behaviors Women Show When They're With Their True Love Sure, most couples are madly "in love" at first, but as time goes on I think most people who have been married 10, 20, 50+ years will say that love is first a choice and then feelings follow and there are some hard times when the feelings are not there and all you are left with is the choice to show love to this person. You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. With the lowest fertility rate in the . Keep looking down and feeling like you don't deserve something good won't get you anywhere. What to Expect has thousands of open discussions happening each day. When I had my first baby as a young single mom, I didn't have a car and I figured it out with the help of my family. Sometimes people make choices to abort, adopt, or keep the child. The guy obviously does not love the girl in question yet went ahead and had a baby with her out of wedlock. You have to remember you are only going to be a victim for as long as you allow yourself to be one. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. I know things would be going so much smoother in my life if I wasn't preggo but there hasn't been a day I questioned my love for this baby. You should do what will make you happy. I too feel torn by a similar situation. We had two kidsnice little family unit. Birth control, as the objection went, could actually serve to raise the abortion rate by encouraging people not ready to have children to have sex at the risk, however small, of becoming. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. Add to Collection. Postpartum Depression and Anxiety: An Open Letter to the Partners When Bonding Isn't Immediate: Feeling Like You Don't Love Your Baby You are in control of your life. When Mothers Don't Bond With Their Daughters - Psychology Today How I wish she can understand and let me leave my life and be free. Friends with benefits are often just friends who you sleep with, with no emotional attachment. But men can still get baby fever. 11 Can't Shake The Baby Blues. Asking why you had sex with her in the first place wont solve this problem cos its everywhere in our societies and its just unfortunate your hit and run opportunity couldnt worked out. But there's a catch: Because you believe that having this child means more to you than not having this child means to your husbandand because he had originally agreed to three kidsyour. I'm supposed to get married in a month. Why would you do that? SCENARIO 2: STAY WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE. I am a single mom and have been for a few years- however, my first child was planned with my fiance' and we were madly in love and it was the greatest, happiest time of my life. Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. I know he can tell I'm not in love with him and I think he thinks he's in love with me ( told me he loved me only after 3 weeks of dating, should've been my first red flag there) anywho we don't really fight a lot and are mostly very friendly around eachother and really do try to make it work but when he gets in his moods I just can't he got drunk one night and almost ran us off the road after telling me he was fine ( he really was acting completely fine) then when I screamed due to being terifed he yelled at me, took away my phone and told me to get out of the house , which I did. SCENARIO 3: FORGET ABOUT THE WOMAN YOU LOVE. To start? I've been with my boyfriend for years and I still don't know if I love him. NOW YOU WONT BE ALWAYS PHYSICALLY THERE, BUT BECUASE YOU ARE A HAPPY PERSON THAT WILL TRANSLATE THAT. I'm having a baby with someone I'm not in love with. I don't know what I'm asking for, I'm just venting at the moment. Mia, the fascinating thing about postpartum depression and anxiety is that it isn't logical. Sooner or later it'll be over. The altnerative is to stay with a woman you don't love and that is a lose-lose all around, even for the kid who will be able to sense his parents don't love each other. If you don't love her then don't be with her. She has someone who depends solely on her. hmmmm my advise to u is to pray to God n ask for forgiveness, i wonder the big talk u used on this gal b4 u got her on bed and now ur running frm ur responsibility. She has done nothing wrong and I feel I am just going to destroy her life! Last updated on June 9, 2022 by Michelle Devani There are many things that may cause a broken heart. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? 37 weeks today. Women are doing everything they can to get contraception. I know some people may be asking why having sex with someone you dont love. I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. . She may have decided against an abortion thinking you will still be with her, but if not, TELL HER it is over and you will not be involved with her anymore (except of course whatever involvement you ahve with the child, support and custody-wise). We don't have to be together to love our children. But shes not the type, shes fond of me un-necessarily. Mary Morris Former Bookkeeper Author has 285 answers and 1.6M answer views 2 y Women, in particular, have a growing awareness of the benefits of having babies when they're ready and not having more than they can provide for. You could have the best partner and tons of family support. I was supposed to be the one. I'm sorry this is long but I have no one else. No love. Long story short. Sucked it up and did what I had to do for my kids. My ex boyfriend keeps liking my photos. We made it to 8yrs. And one of the problems is the appearance of a question having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it? Have you told him you're pregnant yet? She knows him for 9 MONTHS not years.